Untitled Allegory (Part I)

HER IDEAL (A GLIMPSE)

“They’re trying to kill me,” she thought.

She was completely surrounded by white. The walls, lights, and faces of those staring back at her all seemed to blend together in and out of what seemed at times an electric white and at others the dullest opaque. Collectively, the room hummed a quiet low tone (it was all she could hear) that pulsed in her ears seemingly working in tandem with the color in the room.

The white room triggered memories from her past, but from where and when she did not know. Quick snapshots popped into her head and disappeared with the same speed. She saw happy times of children being born and sad times of keeping vigil for loved ones. Happy and sad, the thoughts came and then were gone. But what were these moments? And who were these people invading her thoughts? It all seemed too far away. She could not place how and why these images had reached her, nor where she was or why she was there.

In the past, from where the thoughts flashed, the places all shared a kind of cleanliness and authority, never provoking any real sense of fear or impending doom—not for her anyway. Was she in one of these places that her past had dangled in front of her mind’s eye? The places looked similar, those from her past compared with the here and now, yet sitting there motionless, the brightness of the room and the harsh, rigid faces of those surrounding her created an undeniable feeling of enclosure.

A cringing paranoia set in, a sensation far removed from the calm, comforting memories which had already escaped her. She thought briefly, trying to shake feelings of pain and torture. She quickly began to trust her instincts, though, and concluded once again that, indeed, “They’re trying to kill me,” adding this time, “and I don’t want to die.”